You said wanting to give up on everything and just don't care about everything but you just can't. Do you knw why you can't? Deep inside you can't take it and things are really not going according to what you planned right now and it can be depressing and you nearly wanna give up hope, right? There can be many factors to this, first I would link this with religion. You are in the stage of transitioning your life around. This stage is a vulnerable stage if not properly guided. Money is a factor and secondly a stable and promising career is at stake that's why you wanna give up but cannot give up. That's ironically a good thing. God is great and works in a miraculous way only He will know. What you are trying to pursue now may not be what is meant for you. Maybe, I'm just saying from an observer's point of view. You must always have a back up plan cos if one fails, you still have many more windows/doors opened up for you. .... Just know that you are not alone feeling this way. Just keep on praying and ask for directions, and when you do, open up your heart, eyes and ears.- N